"I see it all as experiences, mixing your mundane reality with vast memory... you can look and listen, smell and touch your surroundings and somehow find connections to the kind of sensation that goes on in your mind"
Rou Lily
COMING SOON
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CHARM
a piece of jewellery,
that I decided only sometimes suits,
and rather than it’s delicate design
it saw the beauty of mine,
in all it’s sincerity - not asking to be worn.
to be begged by a glove, and begged by a ring,
and pretty words slip clumsily from within.
my cooler veins suit the silver frame,
but even gold is hard to tame, in all it’s gorgeous glory haunted by the shame,
but their pleading sweets fall flat to me.
and the quiet smiles reach out to me.
I’m rather bored of bracelets now - but certain charms
will forever stand out to me.
SEAGULLS
the sounds of seagulls have blended behind,
like the movement of the sun and the timer of the night
and I think there’s more to the hues of my hair
like I’m stripped bare,
a reason they stare
my naked atrocities, all over the city
the silent hurts, my painful births
and I’m dying over and over again
and when the golden rooster rises, and I am reminded, and I see my spleen in the branches of a tree I’m passing,
I believe the volume of my body should be,
but the white noise of a gull
soaring to sea
Chaos
AFTERWORD
With the release of Chaos now complete, I somehow still find myself in a state of limbo. A wholly, empty, post-chaotic limbo. Whilst my mind seems to still wander to further feelings from this period of my life, and attempts to piece together the delirium, I must now remind myself that the aftermath of this release, is the point in which I will draw the line underneath what happened; where I was; and who they were.
Chaos was both a journey, and an ambitious recount of one. To you, this may appear to be a deeply personal piece of amateur literature - To me, however, this project and book spilled beyond the ink printed on those forty or so pages. The simple act of distraction, the creative outlet of damaging thoughts, or perhaps my quite cliché effort to compose and “close the chapter” of this era. I suppose it was easier to jot down and scrunch up, to capture and burn, and think and discard.
This was also a significant journey of progressing with my writing and art. I found ways to experiment with different styles, words and metaphors alike. I efficiently used every part of my senses to conduct the connections, and with great determination I managed to proudly express traumas and memories truly from my soul. Chaos may be one of my greatest pieces of work to date, but ultimately I will grow and this book will forever be a stamp in a pioneering timeline.
On the other hand, I’m not quite sure what I shall be expecting next. Which is the daunting reality we all find ourselves in. Now filled with pride, accomplishment, relief, amongst the unsatisfactory hollow loss of my best motivation. Regardless, I hope that I can inspire others and maybe even thought provoke those who chose to ingest my chaos. For now, I know, that the year is over and I shall let my mind wander in new directions, so that I can allow myself to progress even further; emotionally, physically, spiritually and most importantly, creatively.
Rou Lily
3rd March 2021
"This colourful and intense anthology features a chaotic nature of themes surrounding a twenty-one year old's battle with relationships, substance abuse, mental illness and a creatives struggle for motivation"
THE FIRST THREE
Buy each book individually
After discovering some previous poetry and written work from the ages of 15 to 19, I felt inspired to compose a printed compliation of some of those pieces.
Each book is created for particular era's and themes through my late teenage years, and includes some of my own personal specific artwork.
